When you're grieving, a blank page can be the hardest part. This template gives you the bones of a eulogy that runs to about three to five minutes once it's filled in. Work through it one section at a time, and don't worry if some sections are longer than others.
Use the linking sentences as a starting point only. Change them so they sound like something you would say. If you want to understand why the structure works, how to write a eulogy explains each step.
The eulogy template
1. Welcome and introduction
"Thank you all for coming today. My name is [your name], and [their name] was my [relationship, such as mum, grandad, best friend]. On behalf of [the family members you are speaking for], thank you for being here to remember [him or her]."
2. Their life in brief
"[Name] was born in [place] in [year], [a detail about their family, such as the youngest of four]. [He or she] grew up [a detail about their childhood], and left school to [first job or study]."
"[He or she] worked as [job] for [how long], and was proud of [something about their work]. In [year] [he or she] met [partner's name] [where or how they met], and they [married, had children, moved somewhere]."
3. What they were like
"If you knew [name], you'll know [he or she] was [first quality]. [A small example or story that shows it]."
"[He or she] was also [second quality]. [A small example or story that shows it]."
4. A story that sums them up
"[A longer story, with the details: where you were, what they said, what happened next]. That was [name] all over."
5. What they loved
"[He or she] loved [hobbies, places, teams, music]. But more than anything, [he or she] loved [the people closest to them, by name]."
6. Thanks
"I'd like to thank [carers, nurses, hospice, neighbours, friends who helped] for [what they did]."
7. Goodbye
"[Something you'll miss, or something they always said]. [Name], thank you for [something specific]. We love you, and we'll miss you."
The template filled in
Here is the same template completed for a grandmother, read by her grandson. Notice that some of the linking sentences have been changed to sound more natural.
Thank you all for coming today. My name is Josh, and Doreen was my nan. On behalf of Mum, Uncle Paul and all of her grandchildren, thank you for being here to remember her.
Nan was born in Norwich in 1935, the eldest of six, and grew up in a terraced house off Magdalen Street. She helped bring up her younger brothers and sisters while her mum worked, and she left school at fourteen to work at Colman's mustard factory, where she stayed until she was married.
She met Grandad, Stan, at the Samson and Hercules ballroom in 1954. They married two years later and moved to a council house in Earlham, where Nan lived for the rest of her life. They had Mum and then Paul, and when the children were at school Nan went back to work as a dinner lady at the local primary, which she did for twenty-two years.
If you knew Nan, you'll know she was practical. She could fix a fuse and get a stain out of anything. When I turned up at her house at sixteen with a grass stain on my new jeans, she had it out in ten minutes, and then she told me off for playing football in them.
She was also generous in a way that never drew attention. For forty years she knitted blankets for the premature baby unit at the Norfolk and Norwich, and most of us only found out when the hospital sent a card to the house.
The story I think about most is from when Grandad died in 2009. I was nineteen and I didn't know what to say to her. I went round, and she opened the door, looked at me and said, "You'll want a bacon sandwich." We sat in the kitchen and she told me how they met, for about the hundredth time, and I realised she was looking after me. That was Nan all over.
She loved Cromer, her crossword and the Canaries, and she never missed Strictly. More than anything, she loved her family. She had five grandchildren and three great-grandchildren, and she remembered every birthday with a card and a ten-pound note until the very end.
I'd like to thank the staff at her care home in Bowthorpe, who looked after Nan for the last two years with real warmth, and who always let her win at cards.
I'll miss her voice at the door saying "you'll want a bacon sandwich." Nan, thank you for looking after all of us. We love you, and we'll miss you.
Tips for filling in the template
- Use real names and places. "Cromer" is more vivid than "the seaside".
- For each quality, give one example. The example is what people will remember.
- If a section feels thin, ask a relative for a memory to add to it.
- Leave out any section that doesn't fit. Not every eulogy needs a thanks section or a list of hobbies.
- Read it aloud and time it. For timings, see how long should a eulogy be?
For more finished eulogies, read our eulogy examples, or see the guides for your mum and your dad.
Common questions
Is it all right to use a eulogy template?
Yes. A template gives you a structure so you can concentrate on the memories. The words in the gaps are what make it personal, so spend most of your time on those, and change any of the linking sentences so they sound like you.
Do I have to follow the template in this order?
No. Some people like to open with a story and go back to the life history afterwards, or to finish with a poem. The order here is the most common because it is easy for people to follow, but any clear order works.
How many stories should I include?
For a five-minute eulogy, two or three short stories is about right. For three minutes, one or two. Give each story enough room for the details, even if that means telling fewer of them.