Being asked to give a eulogy for your nan is an honour, and it can also feel like a lot to take on. You may be speaking in front of her children and friends who knew her for sixty years or more. The good news is that nobody expects you to know everything about her. You are there as her grandchild, and that is the view people will want to hear.
This page covers what to think about, some questions to get you started and a full example eulogy for a grandma. For the general process, see how to write a eulogy.
Speaking as a grandchild
A grandchild's eulogy usually has a lighter touch than one from a son or daughter. You knew her at a different stage of her life, often when she had more time and more patience. The things you remember, like the biscuit tin or the way she always sent you home with food, are often the things the whole room remembers too.
It helps to say early on that you are speaking for all the grandchildren, if that's true. Before you write, ask your cousins for their favourite memories. You can then include one or two of theirs by name, which makes the eulogy feel shared.
Her life before you were born
This is the part most grandchildren know least about, and it is worth finding out. Where did she grow up? What was her first job? How did she meet your grandad or her partner? Did she move from another town or another country? Her children and her oldest friends will have stories, and old photos can help start the conversation.
You don't need a full life story. A few clear facts about where she came from and what she did, followed by one detail that shows what she was like as a young woman, is plenty.
Questions to help you get started
- Where was she born, and what did she tell you about growing up?
- What work did she do, and did she enjoy it?
- How did she meet your grandad, and what were they like together?
- What did she always cook when you visited?
- What did she say when you arrived and when you left?
- What did she do with you that your parents didn't?
- What was she like with her great-grandchildren?
- What did she care about outside the family, such as church, a club or her friends?
Things to think about
Your mum or dad in the front row. Remember that you are speaking about someone's mother. Your parent, aunts and uncles will be sitting close by, and some of them may have cared for her in her last years. Talk to them before you write, and think about saying a few words directly to them. A simple thank you for looking after her can mean a great deal.
Great-grandchildren. If she had great-grandchildren, mention them by name. Small children may be at the service, and older ones will remember being included. A detail about how she was with them, like the songs she sang or the sweets she kept for them, gives the youngest members of the family something to hold on to.
Readings and poems. Some families like to add a short reading before or after the eulogy. Popular choices at a grandmother's funeral include "Remember" by Christina Rossetti, "Death is nothing at all" by Henry Scott Holland and Psalm 23. A younger grandchild could read one of these if they would like a part in the service but don't want to give the eulogy. Keep readings short, as they count towards the time the celebrant has allowed. If she had a favourite hymn or song, you could mention in the eulogy why it mattered to her.
Your grandad. If your grandad is still alive, he may be finding the day very hard. Speak about their marriage in a way he'll be comfortable hearing, and check anything personal with him first. There is a companion guide to a eulogy for your grandad if you need it later.
Example eulogy for a nan
This example is read by a granddaughter. It runs to about four minutes and has some gentle humour, because her nan liked a laugh and the family wanted people to smile.
Good afternoon, everyone. I'm Keisha, and Gloria was my nan. Mum, Uncle Delroy and all the family want to thank you for coming, and a special thank you to Pastor Williams and everyone from the church for today's service.
Nan was born in 1941 in a village outside Mandeville in Jamaica, the second of seven children. Her dad grew yams and oranges, and she walked two miles to school and back every day. She reminded us of that every time we asked for a lift. In 1961, when she was twenty, she came to England on a ship with one suitcase and a coat her mother had made for her. She said the first thing she noticed about Wolverhampton was the cold, and the second was that nobody said good morning.
She found work as a conductress on the buses, and that's where she met Grandad, Clifton, who drove on the same route. She always said he was the worst driver in the depot and she married him anyway. They were together for forty-four years, until we lost Grandad in 2007, and they brought up Mum and Uncle Delroy in a house in Whitmore Reans. Later on she worked in the kitchens at New Cross Hospital for twenty-five years.
When I was going through her photos last week, I found one of her at about twenty-two, in a yellow dress, laughing outside the Civic Hall. I had never seen her look like that. It reminded me that before she was our nan, she was a young woman a long way from home who made a whole life here out of almost nothing.
As a nan, she ran a tight ship. When you came into her house you took your shoes off and said hello to every person in the room before you went near the food. And there was always food. Sunday meant rice and peas, chicken and her macaroni pie, and nobody ever left without a foil parcel for later. She watched Countdown every afternoon with a pen and paper, and you did not speak to her until the conundrum was over.
She kept a notebook with every family birthday in it, and she never missed one. Every grandchild got a card with a crisp note folded inside, and a phone call first thing in the morning so that she was the first to say it.
When my son Jayden was born, she was eighty. She held him on her lap and sang him the same hymns she used to sing to me. She did the same with my cousin Tyrone's girls, Nia and Ruby. She called the three of them her little blessings, and they called her Great-Nanny Glo.
Mum, I want to say something to you. For the last three years you went round to Nan's every single day. She told everyone at church that she had the best daughter in England. I think she was right, and I know she'd want me to say thank you.
Whenever any of us left her house, she stood at the door and said, "Walk good." So, Nan, thank you for everything you gave us. We love you. Walk good.
Why it works: it gives a short, clear picture of her life before the grandchildren came along, then moves to everyday details that everyone in the room will recognise. It includes the great-grandchildren by name, thanks the daughter who cared for her, and ends with her own words.
Ways to end a eulogy for your grandma
- "Thank you, Nan, for every Sunday dinner and every phone call. We'll look after each other for you."
- "She always told us to ring when we got home. Well, Grandma, you're home now. Goodnight, and God bless."
- "I'll finish with what she said at the door every time we left: love you, see you soon. We love you too, Nan."
There are more full examples on the eulogy examples page, a eulogy template if you'd like a structure to fill in, and a guide to a eulogy for your mum if you are writing for a parent.
Common questions
How do I start a eulogy for my nan?
Thank everyone for coming and say who you are, for example "I'm Keisha, and Gloria was my nan." Then start with where she was born and grew up. Many people find the early part of her life is the easiest place to begin, because it is mostly facts.
Should I call her Nan or Grandma in the eulogy?
Use whatever you called her. If the grandchildren called her Nanny, Gran or Grandma, say that. You can use her first name once near the start so that her friends know who you mean, and then go back to the name the family used.
Is it all right for a grandchild to give the eulogy instead of her children?
Yes. It often happens when her sons or daughters feel too close to it to stand up. Talk to them first, ask what they would like said, and let them see a draft. Mentioning them warmly in the eulogy is a kind thing to do.
How long should a eulogy for my grandma be?
Three to five minutes suits most services, which is roughly 400 to 650 words when read at a steady pace. Check with the celebrant or minister how much time there is, especially if other people are speaking or there is a reading.