Of all the wedding speeches, the groom's is the one people worry least about getting wrong. You aren't expected to be the funny one, as that's the best man's job, and nobody is waiting for you to tell embarrassing stories. What guests want is to hear you thank the people who made the day happen and say something honest about your new wife or husband. If you manage that, the speech has done its job.
This page covers the whole speech. The other guides in this section go into more detail, and there are four full groom speeches to read if you'd like to hear how other grooms have done it.
When the groom speaks
At a traditional UK wedding the speeches happen at the wedding breakfast. The father of the bride goes first and finishes with a toast to the couple. The groom speaks next, and the best man closes the speeches. If there is a toastmaster, they will introduce you, often with "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the groom." Otherwise the father of the bride usually hands over to you as he sits down.
Speeches used to come after the meal, once coffee was poured. Now plenty of couples have them before the food, which means you can enjoy your dinner afterwards. Many weddings also include a speech from the bride, the maid of honour or a parent. The wedding speech order guide shows the traditional running order and the common changes to it.
Because you follow the father of the bride, it's polite to start by thanking him for his speech and his kind words. If the bride's mum, the bride herself or another relative spoke first instead, thank them in the same way.
Who to thank
The thank-yous are the backbone of the groom's speech, and this is where most grooms forget someone. Write the list down early and check it with your partner. The usual list is:
- The father of the bride, or whoever spoke before you, for his speech
- Your new in-laws, for welcoming you into their family (and for their daughter)
- Your own parents, for bringing you up and for their help with the day
- Anyone who paid for or contributed to the wedding
- The guests, especially anyone who has travelled a long way
- Anyone who helped, such as a relative who made the cake or a friend who did the flowers
- The bridesmaids, page boys and flower girls
- The ushers and the best man
It's a long list, so keep each thank-you to a line or two. Adding one specific detail makes a thank-you feel personal, for example "Thanks to Auntie Sheila, who iced two hundred biscuits with our initials on". It's also common to mention anyone who has died or couldn't be there, usually near the start and in two or three sentences. The groom speech structure page has the full running order with example wording for each thank-you.
The toast to the bridesmaids
Traditionally the groom thanks the bridesmaids, says how lovely they look and finishes his speech with a toast to them. Many grooms also give them a small gift at this point. It's a nice moment, as the bridesmaids have often spent months helping with plans, dresses and the hen do.
Plenty of couples now do something different. You might toast the whole wedding party so the ushers and best man are included, or toast both sets of parents. Some grooms toast absent friends, and some finish by toasting their new wife or husband, which is a lovely way to end. At a wedding with two grooms or with no bridesmaids, a toast to the wedding party or to "everyone who has made today so special" works well. Whatever you choose, ask everyone to stand and say it clearly. For example: "So would you all please stand and raise your glasses. To the bridesmaids." The wedding toasts page has more wording.
Speaking about your new spouse
This is the part guests remember. After all the thank-yous, turn to your wife or husband and talk about them. You might say how you met and what they're like on an ordinary Tuesday. Specific details help people picture them. You could say she's kind, or you could tell the room about the night she drove to Exeter at midnight because her friend's car had broken down.
You don't have to be poetic, and you don't need a quote. Plain sentences in your own words are enough. It's fine to include a gentle joke about yourself, such as how long it took you to ask her out or the state of your flat when she first saw it. Keep any humour about your partner kind, and leave out exes altogether.
Many grooms find this part the hardest to say out loud because it's personal. It's fine if your voice wobbles. Pause, take a breath and carry on. Guests will like you all the more for it.
How long to speak for
Five to seven minutes is the usual length. That's around 650 to 900 words at a steady pace of 130 words a minute. Because the thank-yous take up a good chunk of that, the part about your partner may only be a minute or two, and that's fine. How long should a groom speech be? has a table of timings and word counts, and explains how your speech fits with the others.
Writing it
Start with the list of people to thank, because it's the easiest part and gets you going. Then jot down notes about your partner: where you met, your first date, the moment you knew, the proposal and what you love about them now. Pick the two or three details you would most like people to hear. If you get stuck, the groom speech template gives you each section with gaps to fill in.
Write the way you talk. Short sentences are easier to say when you're nervous. Have a quick word with the best man so you know roughly what he's planning. You'll want to avoid telling the same story, and you may be able to set up one of his jokes.
Giving the speech on the day
Read it aloud several times in the weeks before, ideally to someone other than your partner so some of it is still a surprise. Time it once. On the day, have it printed in a large font or on cue cards. Nobody minds a groom reading from notes.
Go easy on the drink until you've spoken. When you stand up, wait for the room to settle and look around before you start. Speak slowly, and pause after anything funny so people can laugh. When you get to the part about your partner, try to look up at them while you speak.
Giving a joint speech as a couple
More couples now give one speech together in place of the groom's speech. It suits couples who don't want one person to do all the thanking, and it's a natural choice for two brides or two grooms. It usually goes in the groom's traditional slot, after the father of the bride.
The easiest way is to take turns. One of you welcomes everyone and thanks the parents, the other thanks the guests and the wedding party, and then you each say a few words about the other. You can finish with a toast together. Write it together so you don't repeat each other, but keep the part about each other secret until the day if you can. Aim for six to eight minutes in total. If the bride would like her own speech, the bride speech guide covers that.
Keep the best man in mind
The best man's speech comes straight after yours. Thank him warmly and keep your introduction short, as the room will be looking forward to his stories.
More groom speech guides
Common questions
When does the groom give his speech?
At most UK weddings the groom speaks second, straight after the father of the bride and before the best man. If the couple give a joint speech, it usually goes in the same place. Check the running order with the toastmaster or the venue so you know when you're on.
Does the groom have to toast the bridesmaids?
It's the tradition, but you don't have to. Many grooms now toast the whole wedding party, both sets of parents, absent friends or simply their new husband or wife. Just make sure somebody thanks the bridesmaids during the speeches, as they have usually worked hard.
How long should a groom speech be?
Five to seven minutes is the usual length, which is roughly 650 to 900 words. Three or four minutes is fine if you would rather keep it short. The thank-yous take up more time than people expect, so time yourself reading it aloud.
What if there are two grooms?
Couples of two men usually decide between them who speaks, or both speak, or they give one speech together. The content is the same: thank everyone, say something about each other and finish with a toast. There's a full example on the groom speech examples page.
Can I use AI to help write my groom speech?
Yes. Speechmade writes a first draft with AI from your own answers about how you met, what you love about your partner and who you need to thank. You read the opening before deciding, and you can change anything so it sounds like you.