The toast is the part of the speech everyone joins in with. It tells the room your speech has finished, and it gives everyone a moment to celebrate together. It only takes a few seconds, but it helps to know what you're going to say, because a clear toast means the room knows exactly when to stand and drink.
If you're still working out when your speech comes, see the wedding speech order. For the speeches as a whole, the wedding speeches guide covers everything from writing to delivery.
Who toasts whom
At a traditional UK wedding, each of the three main speeches ends with its own toast.
| Speaker | Traditionally toasts |
|---|---|
| Father of the bride | The couple |
| Groom, or the couple together | The bridesmaids, or the whole wedding party |
| Best man | The couple |
| Maid of honour | The couple |
| Bride | Her new spouse, or the guests |
| Parents and other speakers | The couple |
The groom's toast to the bridesmaids is a thank-you to them for their help. The best man then replies on the bridesmaids' behalf at the start of his speech. Many couples now toast the whole wedding party, so the ushers, the flower girls and the page boys are included too.
The exact wording
Keep it short and say it clearly. The simplest pattern is to ask everyone to stand, ask them to raise their glasses, then say who the toast is to. The guests repeat the names and drink.
Father of the bride, to the couple
So would you all please stand and raise your glasses. To Lauren and Kieran.
Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding and join me in a toast to the happy couple. To Lauren and Kieran.
The groom, to the bridesmaids
Would you all please stand and join me in a toast to the bridesmaids. To the bridesmaids.
Please raise your glasses to everyone who has helped us today. To the wedding party.
The best man, to the couple
So if you'd all please get to your feet and raise a glass. To the new Mr and Mrs Walsh.
Would you all please stand and raise your glasses one more time. To Tom and Aled.
For a couple who have kept their own surnames, or for two brides or two grooms, use their first names or "the happy couple". If you're unsure how the couple want to be named, ask them.
A toast to absent friends
Some weddings include a short toast to people who couldn't be there, or who have died. The groom or the father of the bride usually gives it, part way through the speech. Keep it brief and gentle, then go back to the rest of the speech. Check with the couple first, as some prefer a quiet mention with no toast.
Before I go on, I'd like us to remember the people who couldn't be with us today. Please raise your glasses. To absent friends.
Kieran's grandad Frank would have loved today. So if you'd all raise your glasses, to Frank, and to everyone we're missing today.
Guests don't need to stand for this one unless you ask them to.
Short toasts for guests and rehearsal dinners
You might be asked to say a few words at a rehearsal dinner, a meal the night before or at the evening reception. A standalone toast needs only a minute or two. Say who you are, tell one short story or say one thing you love about the couple, then raise your glass.
At a meal the night before
Hollie and Jamal had a meal for close family at a pub near Maidstone the night before their wedding. Hollie's Auntie Fran said a few words once the plates were cleared.
I'll keep this short, because I know you've all got an early start, and Hollie's hairdresser is arriving at half seven. I'm Fran, Hollie's auntie, for anyone from Jamal's side who hasn't worked it out yet. I've known Hollie since she was a baby, and I used to take her to the Kent County Show at Detling every summer. She always wanted to see the sheep, and she always wanted to take one home. Jamal, when she brought you to my sixtieth, she looked at you the same way. Tomorrow's going to be a lovely day, and I'm so pleased our two families are getting to know each other tonight. So would you all raise your glasses. To Hollie and Jamal, and to tomorrow.
At the evening reception
Becca and Nia married in Bath. Their friend Imogen, who has played netball with Nia for eight years, gave a short toast in the evening.
Hi everyone, I'm Imogen, and I play netball with Nia. Becca, you'll know that means I've spent a lot of Tuesday nights in a cold sports hall listening to Nia talk about you. Before you two met, she mostly talked about how badly we were playing. After you met, we didn't hear about anything else. We heard about the first date at the Thermae Spa, and the camping trip in the Brecon Beacons where it rained for four days. To be fair, our results got better too, because Nia was in such a good mood. You both look so happy today, and it's been a brilliant day. So please grab whatever you're drinking and raise it. To Becca and Nia.
How to give a toast
- Have your glass ready. Make sure it's filled before you stand up, and keep it on the table beside you during the speech. Pick it up just before the toast.
- Ask people to stand. Say it plainly, for example "Would you all please stand." If there's a toastmaster, they may do this part for you.
- Wait for the room. Give people a moment to get up and find their glasses before you say the names.
- Say the names clearly. Raise your glass, say who the toast is to and pause so the guests can repeat it. Then drink.
- Leave the couple seated. The people being toasted stay sitting down and don't drink to themselves. They can smile and raise a glass back.
The toast always comes at the very end of your speech. After it, sit down or hand over to the next speaker. If you carry on talking after the toast, the room won't know when you've finished.
What to drink if you don't drink
Guests who don't drink alcohol can toast with anything. Ask the venue to pour an alcohol-free sparkling wine or an elderflower pressé alongside the fizz, so anyone who wants one has a glass that looks the same. Orange juice or water are fine too. Speakers who don't drink can use whatever is in their glass, and nobody will notice or mind.
If a lot of your guests don't drink, you can offer a choice of drinks for the toasts when you plan the menu with the venue. It's a small detail that makes everyone feel included.
Writing the rest of your speech
The toast is the easy part. If you'd like help with everything that comes before it, Speechmade writes a first draft with AI from your answers about the couple, finishing with the right toast for your role. See also how long wedding speeches should be.
Common questions
Who gives the toasts at a UK wedding?
Traditionally the father of the bride toasts the couple, the groom toasts the bridesmaids and the best man toasts the couple again. Any other speaker usually ends with a toast to the couple too.
Do the couple stand up for a toast to them?
No. The people being toasted stay seated and don't drink, while everyone else stands and drinks to them. The couple can raise their glasses and join in with the other toasts.
Is it bad luck to toast with water?
Nobody at a modern wedding will mind what is in your glass. Raise whatever you are drinking, whether that is fizz, alcohol-free wine, juice or water. What matters is joining in.
How long should a wedding toast be?
The toast itself is one or two sentences at the end of a speech. A standalone toast from a guest, for example at a rehearsal dinner or in the evening, works well at about one or two minutes.