Most bridesmaids never have to give a speech, so if you have been asked, the bride really wants to hear from you. The good news is that a bridesmaid speech is meant to be short. Two minutes of real, warm words about your friend or sister is all it needs.
When bridesmaids speak
The speeches at a UK wedding usually take place at the wedding breakfast, before or after the meal. The traditional speakers are the father of the bride, the groom and the best man, and a maid of honour is often added now. Bridesmaids usually fit in near the maid of honour or the best man, or they may be asked to speak at the start of the evening do. The wedding speech order page explains where each speech normally comes.
What to include
- Your name and how you know the bride
- One story, or two short ones, that show what she is like
- A few kind words about her partner
- A toast to the couple, if nobody else straight after you is giving one
Keeping it short
A short speech needs a clear idea. Pick one thing you want the room to know about the bride, such as how she looked after you when you were little or how she is the first person you ring when things go wrong. Then choose the story that shows it best. Leave the long stories and the lists of thank-yous to the other speakers.
As with any wedding speech, keep the stories kind and easy for everyone to follow. In-jokes that only your group of friends will understand usually fall flat. There is more on this in the maid of honour speech guide.
When several bridesmaids speak together
Some brides ask all their bridesmaids to speak as a group. This can be lovely, but it needs a bit of planning so it doesn't turn into five separate speeches.
- Agree who opens and who gives the toast at the end
- Give each person one story or one part of the bride's life, such as school, university or work
- Write the speech together so it flows from one person to the next
- Rehearse it at least once as a group, standing up, with someone timing you
Keep the whole thing to about four minutes, however many of you there are. If one of you is nervous, they can say a single line and hand over.
A young bridesmaid
Sometimes the bridesmaid who speaks is a teenage sister or cousin. Guests love this, and a young speaker doesn't need to sound grown up. Short sentences and simple, honest memories work best. Help her write it in her own words and practise it with her a few times. She can read it from a card on the day. A minute or two is plenty.
Practising it
Even a two-minute speech is easier with a bit of practice. Read it out loud at home three or four times, and once to someone who will tell you honestly if a line doesn't make sense. Print it in a large font or write it on a couple of cards. On the day, look up at the bride now and then, and speak more slowly than feels natural. If your voice wobbles, pause and take a breath. Everyone in the room will be willing you on.
A bridesmaid speech example
Eilidh is sixteen and lives in Aberdeen. Her big sister Isla is marrying Morven, and Isla asked her to be a bridesmaid and say a few words. Eilidh speaks after the maid of honour and wanted to keep it short.
Hello, everyone. I'm Eilidh, Isla's little sister. I'm sixteen and I've never done this before, so please be nice.
When I was small, Isla walked me to school every morning along Great Western Road, and she held my hand even when her friends were watching. She taught me to ride a bike on the beach esplanade, and she let me have the top bunk every time we stayed at Nana's in Stonehaven, even when it was her turn. When I was twelve she did my hair for the school disco, even though she had an exam the next morning.
She's still the person I phone when something goes wrong. Last year I failed my Grade 5 piano exam, and I rang her crying from the bus. She met me at the stop with two butteries from the bakery and told me she'd failed hers twice. Mum says that isn't true, but it made me feel a lot better.
Then there's Morven. The first time she came round for tea, she helped me with my maths homework for an hour and then stayed to play cards with Dad. I decided then that she was all right. Morven, you make my sister really happy, and she's much calmer since she met you. I'm glad you're my sister-in-law now.
Isla, thank you for asking me to be your bridesmaid. I know I'm meant to say something clever here, but mostly I just love you both.
So could everyone please stand up and raise your glasses. To Isla and Morven.
Why it works: Eilidh sounds like a sixteen-year-old, which is part of the charm. Each memory is small and specific to her family, and she gives Morven a story of her own before the toast.
The toast
If you are the last to speak, or the couple would like a toast from you, finish by asking everyone to stand and raise their glasses to the couple. If the best man is about to toast them, you can simply finish with a few words to the bride and sit down. Wedding toasts has more wording.
If the bride is giving a speech of her own, the bride speech guide shows what she is likely to cover, so you can avoid repeating her.
Related guides
Common questions
Do bridesmaids give speeches at UK weddings?
Traditionally they didn't, but it's becoming more common. Usually only the maid of honour speaks, but some brides ask one or more bridesmaids to say a few words as well. It is always optional.
How long should a bridesmaid speech be?
Keep it short. One to three minutes is plenty, which is about 130 to 390 words. If several of you are speaking together, aim for about four minutes in total.
When do the bridesmaids speak?
Usually just before or after the maid of honour or the best man. Some couples prefer the bridesmaids to speak at the start of the evening reception. Ask the couple or the toastmaster where you fit.
What is the difference between a maid of honour and a bridesmaid speech?
The maid of honour speech is usually the longer one, with more stories and the main toast from the bride's side. A bridesmaid speech is shorter, often one story and a few kind words, and it may not need a toast at all if someone else is giving one.