For a long time the bride was the one person at a UK wedding who never spoke. That has changed. Plenty of brides now want to thank their guests themselves and say a few words about the person they have just married. At a wedding with two brides, both of them often speak.
Nobody expects a long or polished speech from you. The guests are there for you, and they will be delighted to hear from you in your own words.
When the bride speaks
Speeches usually take place at the wedding breakfast, before or after the meal. The most common place for the bride is straight after her dad or whoever gives the welcome. Some brides go after the groom, and a few like to have the last word after the best man. The wedding speech order page sets out the traditional running order and the ways couples change it.
Speaking alone or together
If you are marrying a man, you can give your own speech as well as his, or you can speak together. The groom speech guide covers what he will usually say, so read it together and decide who does which part.
If you are marrying a woman, you might both speak separately, one after the other, or give one speech between you. Two separate speeches give each of you the chance to talk about the other. A joint speech is shorter and easier on nerves.
If you give a joint speech, a few things help:
- Split the thank-yous so each person thanks their own family and friends
- Take turns in short sections, and mark clearly on your notes who says what
- Leave a part at the end where you each say something to the other
- Finish with one toast, given by one of you or both together
What to include
- Thanks to the guests for coming, especially anyone who travelled a long way
- Thanks to your parents and your partner's parents
- Thanks to anyone who helped with or paid for the day
- Thanks to your bridesmaids, maid of honour and the rest of the wedding party
- A mention of anyone who has died or couldn't be there, if you would like to
- A few words about how you met and what you love about your spouse
- A toast
Speaking about your spouse
This is the part guests will remember, and it's often the hardest to write. Tell the story of how you met in a few lines, then say what you love about them using real examples. It's easier to say "she marks books on the train so she can be home for tea" than to talk in general terms about how hard-working she is. Keep it honest and affectionate, and don't worry if it makes you cry. Nobody minds.
Put the thank-yous first and your spouse near the end, so the speech builds to them and then to the toast.
A bride speech example
Hattie grew up in Oxford and works in a library. She is marrying Temi, a chemistry teacher, and they live in Brockley in south-east London. The wedding is in Lewisham. Temi is also speaking, so Hattie is doing most of the thank-yous. Hattie's parents are Fiona and Andrew, and Temi's parents are Funmi and Tunde.
Good evening, everyone. I'm Hattie, and I've been married for about five hours, which still feels very strange to say.
Temi and I are both going to say a few words tonight, and we've agreed that I'll do most of the thank-yous so she can do the jokes. I'm sure she'll be very good.
First, thank you all for being here. A lot of you have travelled. My family came in from Oxford on a coach, which my dad organised with a spreadsheet, and Temi's aunties have come all the way from Lagos. We know what it took to get you here and we're so grateful.
Mum and Dad, thank you for everything, today and always. You've helped with every bit of this wedding, from driving the chairs across London to letting us take over your front room for the dress fittings. Dad, your speech earlier made me cry, and I'd done my make-up very carefully.
Funmi and Tunde, thank you for welcoming me into your family from the very first Sunday. You've taught me a lot, including how to make proper jollof rice, and I promise I'll keep working on it. Grandma Bisi, thank you for your blessing this morning. I won't forget it.
To our bridesmaids, Kemi and Lotte, thank you for keeping me calm this morning when my zip broke, and for months of help before that. You both look beautiful. Thank you as well to Joe, Temi's brother, who has looked after the rings all day and hasn't lost them once, and to everyone here at the hall for taking such good care of us.
Now, Temi. We met at a friend's barbecue on Hilly Fields five summers ago. It rained, everyone else went home, and the two of us ended up under one umbrella eating Temi's jollof out of a foil tray. I had three helpings. I told her it was the best thing I'd eaten all year, which was true, and she has never let me forget it.
A year later she asked me to move in with her. Two years after that she proposed in the same spot on Hilly Fields, and it was raining again. She'd brought the same umbrella. I said yes before she'd finished the question.
Temi teaches chemistry at a school about ten minutes from here, and I've never met anyone who cares so much about other people's children. She marks books on the train so she can be home for tea, and she still phones her grandma every single evening.
She's also the funniest person I know. When I'm worrying about something, which is quite often, she listens properly and then makes me laugh about it until it seems a lot smaller.
Temi, thank you for choosing me. I love our life in our tiny flat with the wonky shower, and I can't wait for everything that comes next. I'm so proud to be your wife.
So would you all please stand and raise your glasses. To our families and friends.
Why it works: Hattie gets the thank-yous done quickly and warmly, with a small personal detail for each person. The part about Temi uses one story and two everyday examples, and her toast to families and friends leaves the toast to the couple for Temi.
The toast
Traditionally the groom toasts the bridesmaids, and the best man toasts the couple. As the bride, you can toast whoever you like: your guests, your families, your bridesmaids or absent friends. If you are speaking together, a toast to each other is lovely. There are more options on the wedding toasts page.
If your maid of honour is speaking too, the maid of honour speech guide shows what she is likely to say. Your mum may want to say a few words as well, and the mother of the bride speech page covers that.
Related guides
Common questions
Is it normal for the bride to give a speech?
Yes. It used to be rare at UK weddings, but lots of brides now speak, either on their own or together with their husband or wife. Nobody will be surprised to see you stand up.
When does the bride speak?
Most often straight after the father of the bride, either alone or in a joint speech with her partner. Some brides speak after the groom or at the very end. Agree the order with your partner and the toastmaster.
How long should a bride speech be?
Three to five minutes, which is about 390 to 650 words. If you and your partner are giving a joint speech, aim for about six or seven minutes between you.
Who should the bride thank?
Usually the guests, both sets of parents, anyone who helped with the day, the bridesmaids and the rest of the wedding party. If your partner is also speaking, split the thank-yous between you so nobody is thanked twice.