An anniversary party is one of the few times a couple get to hear what their family and friends think of them. Most of the guests have known them for years, and plenty were at the wedding. The speech gives the room a chance to look back at how it all started and to raise a glass to the two of them. If you have a few good stories and know how you'll word the toast, you have most of what you need.
This page covers anniversary speeches in general. If it's a 50th, the golden wedding speech guide has more on that anniversary, with two full examples.
Who gives the speech
There are no fixed rules, which makes things easier. The most common speakers are:
- A son or daughter. This is the usual choice, especially at a ruby or golden wedding, and often it's whoever organised the party. Brothers and sisters sometimes share it, with one doing the welcome and another telling the stories.
- A close friend. At a silver wedding the children may still be young, so a best friend of the couple, or the best man or bridesmaid from the wedding, is a good fit. They can tell stories from before the children came along.
- One of the couple. A husband or wife may want to say something to their partner in front of everyone. These speeches are usually short and personal, and they often get the biggest reaction of the night.
- The couple together. Many couples say a few words near the end to thank their guests and whoever organised the party. That can be as simple as a minute each.
Couples who had a civil partnership and later converted it to a marriage sometimes celebrate from the first date and sometimes from the second. Ask which one they count before you say how many years it's been.
The anniversary names
Each milestone has a traditional name, and families often use it for the party and the decorations. These are the ones people most often celebrate in the UK.
| Anniversary | Traditional name |
|---|---|
| 25th | Silver wedding |
| 30th | Pearl wedding |
| 40th | Ruby wedding |
| 50th | Golden wedding |
| 60th | Diamond wedding |
Mentioning the name in the toast is a nice touch, for example "Happy ruby wedding, Mum and Dad." There is no need to build jokes around rubies or pearls.
A simple structure
Most anniversary speeches follow the couple's life in order, which makes them easy to write and easy to follow.
- The welcome. Say who you are and how you're related, thank everyone for coming, and mention anyone who has travelled a long way. If someone else organised the party, thank them here.
- How they met and the wedding. This is the part guests love. Find out the real story, including the version each of them tells if they disagree. Add a detail or two about the wedding day itself, such as the weather, the church or register office, the reception or what went wrong.
- Their life together. Pick a handful of moments from the years since. Their first home, children arriving, jobs, moves, holidays, and the hard times they got through. You can't cover every year, so choose the stories that show what they are like.
- What makes them work. Say plainly what you've noticed about them as a couple. It could be the way they still make each other laugh, or how one always does the driving and the other always reads the map. Small habits say a lot.
- The toast. Ask everyone to stand and raise their glasses to the couple by name.
If the couple have children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren in the room, it's worth a line near the end about the family they've built. Keep it short, though, as the speech is about the two of them.
How long to speak for
Three to five minutes is plenty. At 130 words a minute, that is about 390 to 650 words. Anniversary parties are relaxed, and people will be keen to get back to talking to each other, so three minutes is often the right length. If the couple are also going to speak, leave them some room.
Photos and slideshows
Old photos are a big part of most anniversary parties, and the wedding album usually comes out at some point in the evening. If the venue has a screen, a slideshow playing quietly during the evening works well, and you can refer to it in your speech ("If you've seen the photo by the bar of Dad in flares, that was the honeymoon").
If you want to show photos during the speech itself, keep it to a few and time them with what you're saying. Test the screen and the sound earlier in the day, and have someone else press the button so you can keep looking at the room. If there's no screen, you can pass round a wedding photo or hold one up when you get to that part of the story. A board of printed photos by the door works well too, and gives guests something to talk about before the speeches.
When things are harder
Not every anniversary party happens at an easy time. If one of the couple is unwell, the party may be smaller or shorter, and the speech should be too. You don't need to mention the illness at all. Speak to them directly if they're in the room, keep your stories gentle and familiar, and make the toast warm and simple. If they tire easily, give your speech early in the evening.
Guests will often be thinking of people who can't be there, such as the couple's parents, their bridesmaids or best man, or a child they lost. If the couple would like them remembered, do it near the start of the speech. Say their name and one kind thing, such as "Grandma Iris would have loved tonight, and I know she's in Mum's thoughts." Then carry on. Ask the couple first, because some people prefer to keep those thoughts private on a happy night.
If a loss is very recent, a separate toast to absent friends can feel heavy. A sentence in the welcome is usually enough. For a speech at a funeral or memorial, see the eulogy guide instead.
Example: a son's speech at a ruby wedding
Stuart's parents, Lorraine and Keith, married in Kidderminster in 1986. The party is at the local cricket club, and Stuart wanted something warm and fairly light, with a mention of his dad's change of career. The speech runs to about three minutes.
Good evening, everyone. For anyone I haven't met, I'm Stuart, Lorraine and Keith's son. Thank you all for coming tonight. A special welcome to Auntie Denise, who has driven all the way from Hastings, and to Mum's friends from the school office, who I'm told have been planning their outfits since March.
Forty years ago this month, Mum and Dad got married at the parish church in Kidderminster. Dad was twenty-three and worked on the looms at one of the carpet factories. Mum was twenty-one and had decided on September because she wanted the leaves turning in the photos. It rained all day. There's a picture on the landing at home of Dad holding an umbrella over Mum while he gets completely soaked, and he's grinning from ear to ear.
They met at a disco at the town hall in 1984. Dad says he asked her to dance. Mum says he stood by the wall for two hours and in the end she went over to him. I've heard both versions at every family do for thirty years, and I'm staying well out of it tonight.
Their first house was a terrace near the canal, and they still live about a mile from it. My sister Kerry arrived in 1988 and I came along two years later. We had a Jack Russell called Pickle who ate a whole Christmas cake one year, and every summer we went to the same caravan site in Borth, where it rained as hard as it did on their wedding day.
When the factory closed, Dad was fifty and had never done any other job. Mum sat down at the kitchen table with him and the local paper, and six months later he'd retrained as a gas engineer. He says he couldn't have done it without her. She says he did all the hard work. They're like that about most things.
Forty years on, they still hold hands when they go round Tesco, and they still argue every Saturday about whether the Harriers will ever get promoted. Dad brings Mum a cup of tea in bed every morning. Kerry's wife, Nat, has asked me to point out that Kerry has never once done this for her.
Mum and Dad, you've shown us what it looks like to stick together and look after each other, and we're all very proud of you.
So would you all please stand and raise your glasses. To Mum and Dad, Lorraine and Keith. Happy ruby wedding.
You could give a speech like this at a silver or golden wedding by changing the years and the stories. For more on telling a long life story in a few minutes, the 80th birthday speech guide covers similar ground, and wedding toasts has more ways to word the toast.
Giving the speech on the night
Pick your moment. At a sit-down meal, the speech usually comes after the main course or just before the cake is cut. At a buffet or a party in a function room, wait until most people have arrived and eaten, and ask someone to turn the music down. A microphone helps a lot in a busy room, especially for older guests.
Print the speech in a large font or use cue cards, and read it aloud a few times beforehand. Look at the couple when you talk about them. If they get emotional, that's a good sign, so pause and let them. When you get to the toast, say it clearly so everyone knows when to stand and drink.
More anniversary guides
Common questions
Who usually gives the speech at an anniversary party?
Most often it's one of the couple's children, or the eldest if there are several. A close friend, a brother or sister, or a grandchild can do it just as well. Sometimes one of the couple speaks to the other, or the couple say a few words together to thank everyone for coming.
How long should an anniversary speech be?
Three to five minutes suits most parties. That is roughly 390 to 650 words at a steady pace. If more than one person is speaking, keep each speech nearer three minutes so the evening doesn't turn into a string of speeches.
What are the traditional names for wedding anniversaries?
In the UK the big ones are the 25th (silver), the 30th (pearl), the 40th (ruby), the 50th (golden) and the 60th (diamond). Most families only throw a party for these, so they are the anniversaries people tend to write speeches for.
Should I mention family members who have died?
If the couple would want them remembered, yes. Keep it to a sentence or two near the start, say their name and something kind, and then move on. Check with the couple first, and keep the rest of the speech about the two of them.
Can I use AI to write an anniversary speech?
Yes. Speechmade writes a first draft with AI from your own answers about the couple: how they met, the stories you want told and what makes them work. You can read the opening before you decide, and change anything so it sounds like you.