At a traditional UK wedding the father of the groom doesn't give a speech. The father of the bride welcomes the guests, and the groom and the best man speak after him. That has changed a lot. More couples now ask both dads to say something, and many fathers of the groom want the chance to say publicly how proud they are of their son.
If you have been asked, the good news is that nobody expects a long speech from you. A few minutes that are warm and sincere will go down very well.
When the father of the groom speaks
The speeches usually happen at the wedding breakfast, either before the meal or after it. If you are speaking, the most likely places are:
- Straight after the father of the bride, so the two families each have a turn to welcome people
- After the groom, as a bridge before the best man
- At the start of the evening reception, if the couple want to keep the main speeches short
If there is a toastmaster, they will introduce you. Otherwise the previous speaker may hand over to you. The wedding speech order guide explains the traditional running order and the common alternatives, so it's worth checking where you fit before you start writing.
If the father of the bride has already welcomed everyone, you don't need to do it again at length. A quick thank-you to the hosts and to the other family is enough before you move on to your son.
What to include
Most father of the groom speeches cover these points, roughly in this order:
- Who you are, for guests from the other side who haven't met you
- Thanks to whoever hosted or paid for the wedding, and to the other family
- A mention of anyone important who can't be there, if it feels right
- One or two short stories about your son growing up
- What you like about his partner, and a welcome into your family
- A toast to the couple
Leave the thanks to the bridesmaids and the best man to the groom. Leave the embarrassing stories to the best man as well. Your job is the proud dad's view.
Writing it
Pick one or two stories that show what your son is like. The best ones are small and specific, like the go-kart he built in the shed or the way he looked after his gran when she was poorly. You know him better than almost anyone in the room, and the guests will enjoy hearing a side of him they haven't seen.
Spend at least a third of the speech on his partner. Say when you first met them and what you noticed, and then say plainly that you are glad to have them in the family. Their parents will be listening closely to this part.
Keep the sentences short and write the way you talk. Read it out loud a few times at home and time yourself. If it runs past four minutes, cut a story. For how the timings fit with the other speeches, see how long wedding speeches should be.
A few things are best left out:
- Old girlfriends or boyfriends
- The cost of the wedding, or who paid for what beyond a simple thank-you
- Stories the best man is likely to tell, so you don't steal his best material
A father of the groom speech example
Dennis is from Derby and worked at Rolls-Royce for thirty years. His son Owen is a physio, and he is marrying Farah, a pharmacist whose family live in Northampton. Farah's parents, Tariq and Nasreen, hosted the wedding. Dennis speaks after the father of the bride and wanted to keep it short.
Good evening, everyone. I'm Dennis, Owen's dad. I promised Owen I'd keep this short, and he's put me on straight after Tariq so I can't get away with anything else.
On behalf of Linda and me, I'd like to thank Tariq and Nasreen for everything they've done to get us all here today. You've made us feel part of the family since the first time we met, and you've fed us very well along the way. Thank you as well to everyone who has come to Derby for the day, especially Farah's cousins, who drove up from Northampton this morning and still got here before the groom.
Owen has been taking things apart since he could hold a screwdriver. When he was seven, he unscrewed the back of our video recorder to find out where the tapes went. He never did put it back together, and Linda still brings it up whenever we can't find the remote. These days he's a physio, so he puts people back together instead, and I'm told he's very good at it.
He's always been a loyal lad. He's had a season ticket at Pride Park since he was ten, and he has sat through some terrible weather and some worse football without complaining once. When our old dog Pickle got too stiff to walk far, Owen came round every Sunday for a year to carry her to the end of the road and back so she could have a sniff at the lamp posts. He never made a fuss about it. He just turned up.
Then he brought Farah home for Sunday dinner. She came with a cheesecake she'd made herself, and after dinner she beat me at Scrabble by about a hundred points. Linda had her down as a keeper before the pudding was finished. It took me a little longer, because I don't like losing at Scrabble.
Farah, we've seen how happy Owen is with you, and how you look after each other. You're kind to him and you make him laugh, and he's more settled than I've ever known him. We're very proud to have you as our daughter-in-law, and we're glad to be part of your family too.
So would you all please stand and raise your glasses. To Owen and Farah.
Why it works: Dennis thanks the hosts quickly, because the father of the bride has already done the main welcome. He tells two short stories about Owen. Farah then gets a story of her own, and he says directly that she is welcome in the family.
The toast
Finish by asking people to stand and raise their glasses to the couple, using both their names. If you are speaking before the father of the bride or the best man, check what they are toasting so the room isn't asked to drink to the same thing three times in a row. Wedding toasts has the usual wording for each speaker.
If the groom's mum is speaking too, or instead of you, the mother of the groom speech guide covers her side of things, and the father of the bride guide shows what the other dad is likely to say.
Related guides
Common questions
Does the father of the groom have to give a speech?
No. It is an optional speech at a UK wedding, and plenty of dads of the groom don't speak at all. If the couple would like you to say a few words, they will usually ask. If you would like to, it's fine to offer.
When does the father of the groom speak?
There is no fixed slot. The most common place is straight after the father of the bride, or after the groom and before the best man. Some couples ask him to speak at the start of the evening do. Check with the couple or the toastmaster so you know when to be ready.
How long should the father of the groom speech be?
Two to four minutes is plenty, which is roughly 260 to 520 words. The father of the bride and the best man usually speak for longer, so a short speech from you fits well.
What if my son is marrying a man?
The speech works in exactly the same way. You welcome his husband and his family, say something about the two of them together and toast them both by name. At a wedding with two grooms, both fathers are often asked to speak.
Can I use AI to help write it?
Yes. Speechmade writes a first draft with AI from your own answers about your son and his partner. You can read the opening before you decide, and change anything you like so it sounds like you.