A speech from the bride's brother or sister isn't part of the traditional UK line-up, but more couples ask for one every year. You have a view of the bride that nobody else has. You grew up in the same house as her, and the guests will love hearing what that was like.
This page is written for the brother or sister of the bride, and the same advice works for the brother or sister of the groom. If your sibling is marrying someone of the same sex, it works in exactly the same way too.
When a brother or sister speaks
There are a few common reasons a sibling ends up with the microphone:
- The couple want a family voice alongside the best man and maid of honour
- You are speaking instead of a best man or maid of honour, because the couple chose not to have one
- You are standing in for a parent who has died or who can't face speaking
- You are the best man or maid of honour as well as the sibling
It helps to know which one applies to you, because it changes what the room expects. A sibling speaking on behalf of a parent will usually thank the guests and welcome the partner's family, which is normally the father of the bride's job. A sibling speaking as an extra will keep it short and personal.
Standing in for a parent
If you are speaking because your mum or dad has died, the room will already be thinking about them. A sentence or two early on is enough, something like "Dad should be doing this today, and I'll try to do it the way he would have." You can come back to them once at the end. Keep the rest of the speech about the couple. The father of the bride speech guide covers the welcome and thank-yous that usually come with that role.
Where it goes in the running order
The speeches usually happen at the wedding breakfast, either before the meal or after it. The traditional order is the father of the bride, then the groom, then the best man. A sibling's speech is usually slotted in after the father of the bride or just before the best man. If you are speaking in place of a parent, you will usually go first. The wedding speech order page covers the options.
Ask the couple or the toastmaster where you are in the list, and find out who else is speaking. If the best man or maid of honour is also telling stories, compare notes so you don't both tell the one about the caravan in Tenby.
What to include
- Who you are and how you are related, for guests from the other side
- A thank-you to whoever hosted the day, if nobody else has covered it
- Two or three stories from growing up together
- What your brother or sister is like now, as an adult
- A proper welcome for their partner, and for the partner's family
- What the two of them are like together
- A mention of a parent or grandparent who has died, if it feels right
- A toast to the couple
Childhood stories and teasing done kindly
Siblings are allowed to tease each other, and the room will expect a bit of it. The thing to remember is that your parents are sitting a few feet away, and so are your new in-laws, who are still forming an opinion of your family. Keep the stories to the sort you would happily tell at Sunday dinner.
Good material usually comes from:
- Family holidays, and the arguments in the car about who sat where
- The hobby, job or obsession they had as a child that says something about them now
- A time they looked after you or covered for you
- A small habit everyone in the family recognises
Leave out exes, anything that would embarrass them in front of their grandparents, and stories that make your parents look bad. If you tease your sibling, tease yourself too. It keeps the balance fair, and guests warm to a speaker who can laugh at themselves.
Try to finish your stories with something sincere. A funny memory of her bossing you about on holiday can lead straight into how she still looks after everybody. That turn from teasing to affection is what makes a sibling speech work.
Welcoming the partner
This is the part of the speech that belongs to you more than anyone. The best man and maid of honour talk about friendship, and you get to say, on behalf of the family, that you are glad to have this person join it. Say when you first met them and what you thought. Mention something specific they do that shows they are good for your brother or sister. If their family are in the room, welcome them by name too.
If you're also the best man or maid of honour
Plenty of grooms choose their brother as best man, and plenty of brides choose their sister as maid of honour. In that case you give one speech, and it does both jobs. Follow the usual shape for the role, with thanks on behalf of the wedding party and a toast, and use your family stories as the heart of it. The best man speech for your brother guide and the maid of honour speech guide both cover this.
A joint speech by several siblings
If there are two or more of you, a joint speech saves the room from sitting through several separate ones. It works best when each of you takes one story and the handovers are planned. Decide in advance who opens, who welcomes the partner and who does the toast. Write the whole thing as one script with names in the margin, and practise it together out loud. Keep the total to about four minutes, however many of you there are.
A brother of the bride speech example
Eoin is Aoife's older brother. They grew up in Derry, and their dad, Seamus, died a few years ago. Their mum, Bernie, asked Eoin to speak in his place. Aoife is a primary school teacher and she is marrying Mark Kelly, a paramedic. Eoin speaks first.
Good afternoon, everyone. For those of you on Mark's side who haven't met me, I'm Eoin, Aoife's big brother. I'm the one who taught her to ride a bike on Duncreggan Road, and I'm also the one who let go of the saddle a bit too early. She has nearly forgiven me.
Mum asked me to say a few words today, because Dad isn't here to do it. He would have been at this microphone for twenty minutes, and he'd have told you about every school report Aoife ever brought home. I'll try to be quicker, but I'll start where he would have, by saying how proud of her we all are.
Aoife is four years younger than me, and when we were kids she followed me everywhere. When I was twelve and trying to look grown up at the Brandywell, she came along to every Derry City home game in a scarf down to her knees and sang louder than anybody in the stand. I was mortified. She still has the scarf, and these days I wouldn't go to a match without her.
She was also the family organiser from about the age of eight. Every summer we drove over to Portnoo for a fortnight, and every summer Aoife wrote the packing list, with a column for each of us. Dad used to say she'd make a great general. What she actually became is a brilliant teacher, and I know that because her class wrote her a card for today, and Mum has already cried at it twice.
Then there's Mark. The first time Aoife brought him home for Sunday dinner, Mum made a roast big enough for twelve. Mark had three helpings and then did the washing up without being asked. Mum rang me that night to tell me about the washing up. I think she'd made her mind up about him before the gravy was cold.
Mark, you're used to staying calm when everything around you is chaos, and you'll need that in this family. You've been so good for my sister. She laughs more since she met you, and she has even let you write the packing list once or twice. We're delighted to have you, and we're very glad to have your mum and dad and all the Kellys here with us too.
Aoife, Dad would have been so proud of you today. I know I am.
So would you all please stand and raise your glasses. To Aoife and Mark.
Why it works: Eoin mentions his dad early and once more at the end, and keeps everything in between about his sister and Mark. His teasing is gentle, and he takes the first joke at his own expense.
A sister of the groom speech example
Yasmin is Tariq's younger sister. They grew up in Fratton in Portsmouth. Tariq is a chef with his own restaurant in Southsea, and he is marrying Luke, a physio. Luke's parents are Carol and Phil. Yasmin speaks before the best man.
Hello, everyone. I'm Yasmin, Tariq's little sister, and I've been waiting twenty-nine years for a chance to talk about him while he has to sit still and listen.
First, thank you to Mum and Dad, and to Carol and Phil, for everything you've done to get us all here. And thank you, Tariq and Luke, for letting me do this. You've both read it, so if it goes badly, that's partly on you.
Tariq is three years older than me, and for most of our childhood he was in charge. He decided what we watched and who got the last bag of Frazzles. He also decided, when he was about ten, that he was going to be a chef. His first restaurant was our kitchen in Fratton, and I was his only customer. Every Saturday he'd write me a menu in felt tip and then serve me beans on toast with a sprig of parsley he'd pinched from Mum's window box. I had to leave a review, and if it wasn't five stars he'd sulk until Monday.
He has got a lot better since then, as anyone who has eaten at his place in Southsea will know. But I'd like to say, for the record, that the beans were never quite warm in the middle.
What people don't always see is how kind he is. When I was fifteen I had a horrible time at school, and he picked me up from the gates every day for a month in his old Corsa, even though it made him late for his shift. He never asked me to talk about it. He just drove me along the seafront and bought me chips. I've never properly thanked him for that, so Tariq, thank you.
Then Luke came along. They met at Fratton Park, which is about the most Portsmouth way you can meet anyone. Luke spilt a whole cup of Bovril down Tariq's back in the second half, and by full time they'd swapped numbers. Tariq told me afterwards that he was furious for about four seconds.
Luke, you're calm where my brother is dramatic, and you're the only person I've ever seen win an argument with him about seasoning. You've made him so happy. Mum and Dad adore you, and I've always wanted another brother, especially one who can reverse park first time.
So would everyone please stand and raise your glasses. To Tariq and Luke.
Why it works: Yasmin's voice is quicker and cheekier than Eoin's, but her teasing is about beans on toast and nothing that would hurt. The story about the school gates gives the speech its heart, and she ends by welcoming Luke as a brother.
The toast
End by asking everyone to stand and raise a glass to the couple, using both their names. Keep it simple, for example "So would you all please stand and raise your glasses. To Aoife and Mark." If the best man is speaking straight after you and will toast the couple, you could toast your parents or absent family instead. There are more options on the wedding toasts page.
If you would like a first draft to work from, Speechmade can write one with AI from your own stories. Tell it how you're related, a few memories from growing up and what you like about the partner, and read the opening before you decide.
Related guides
Common questions
Does the brother or sister of the bride give a speech?
Not traditionally, but it's becoming common at UK weddings. A sibling might speak as well as the best man and maid of honour, instead of one of them, or on behalf of a parent. If the couple haven't asked you, it's fine to offer, as long as you're happy to hear no.
How long should a sibling speech be?
Two to four minutes is plenty, which is roughly 260 to 520 words. If there are already three or four speeches, keep to the shorter end. If you are also the best man or maid of honour, you can go up to five minutes.
Can the groom's brother or sister use this advice?
Yes. Everything on this page works the same way for the brother or sister of the groom. Swap the names round, and welcome the bride or the other groom into your family instead.
Can my brothers and sisters and I give a speech together?
Yes. Agree who says what, give each person one story, and have one of you do the toast. Rehearse it out loud together at least once so the handovers are smooth.
Can I use AI to help write it?
Yes. Speechmade writes a first draft with AI from your own answers about your brother or sister and their partner. You can read the opening before you decide, and change anything so it sounds like you.