A best man speech for your brother follows the usual shape. You thank the groom on behalf of the bridesmaids if he's toasted them, introduce yourself, tell a few stories, say something kind about the couple and raise the toast. The best man speech guide covers all of that. What's different is the amount of material you have, and the fact that your own parents will be listening.
Using childhood stories
You were there for the bunk beds, the family holidays, the school reports and the first bike. That's a lot to choose from, and the room will love hearing about the groom as a boy. His partner's family especially will enjoy finding out what he was like before they met him.
Pick one or two childhood stories and one from when you were both older. That way the speech moves forward through his life and lands on the person he is now. Good sources include:
- Family holidays, especially the ones where something went wrong
- Shared bedrooms, bunk beds and the rules you made about them
- Things he said as a small child that the family still repeats
- Games you played, and who always won
- A time he looked after you or got you out of trouble
Ask your mum and dad, and any other siblings, what they remember. Old photo albums help too. You'll often find you remember a story differently from your parents, and their version may be funnier.
Be careful with anything your brother might be sensitive about. You know which childhood episodes he laughs at and which ones still make him wince. Stick to the first kind.
Your parents are in the room
When a friend is best man, the groom's parents are guests listening to a stranger. When you're best man, they are your parents too, and they'll be listening to both of their sons at once. That's a lovely thing, and it's worth keeping in mind as you write.
Your mum and dad will be proud of him and proud of you. Don't tell any story that would embarrass them, such as anything about arguments at home or a difficult time in the family. It's fine to include them in a story, for example your dad's reaction to the time your brother reversed into the garage door. Keep the joke on your brother and leave your parents looking good.
Give them a sentence of their own near the end. Something simple like "Mum and Dad, I know how proud you are today" will mean a great deal. If your family has been through something hard, such as losing a parent or a grandparent, talk to your brother before you decide whether to mention it.
Sibling rivalry, done kindly
Most brothers have spent years competing, and the room will enjoy hearing about it. Rivalry is a good source of laughs, because it's something everyone with a brother or sister recognises. The trick is to make the rivalry the joke, and keep your brother likeable.
Some ways to do it well:
- Tell a story where he won and you were a sore loser, so you're laughing at yourself too
- Pick harmless things to compete over, like video games or who got the front seat in the car
- Follow a rivalry story with one about him being on your side when it mattered
- Leave out anything about who your parents preferred, even as a joke
- Avoid comparing your jobs or your relationships
A good pattern is a funny story about him being competitive, followed straight away by a short one about him looking after you. The laugh and the warm moment work together, and the room sees both sides of him.
Saying something sincere
Plenty of brothers find it awkward to say nice things to each other, and some have never done it out loud. The speech is a chance to. You don't need to say much. One or two plain sentences at the end, like "You've looked out for me my whole life, and I couldn't have asked for a better brother", are enough. Say them slowly, and look at him when you do.
Then welcome his partner properly. As their new brother-in-law, you're also speaking for your side of the family. Say what you like about them, and that you're glad they're part of it. If your brother is marrying a man, the speech works in exactly the same way.
An example best man speech for a brother
Joe is best man for his older brother Danny, who is a head chef in Sheffield. Danny is marrying Amira, an architect. They grew up in Hillsborough with their mum Karen, a nurse, and their dad Kev. Joe wanted a speech that teased his brother about their rivalry and still said plainly how much he looks up to him.
Good evening, everyone. Danny, thank you for what you said about the bridesmaids. On their behalf, I can tell you that Yasmin and Kerry have looked after Amira beautifully today. They've also been very patient with me every time I asked where I was supposed to be standing.
For those who don't know me, I'm Joe, Danny's little brother. I'm thirty-one and six foot two, so "little" hasn't been accurate for a while. Danny still says it, and I've given up arguing.
We shared a bedroom in our house in Hillsborough until Danny was fourteen. When he turned twelve, he put a line of masking tape down the middle of the carpet. The window side was his, and the door side was mine. That meant every time he wanted to leave the room, he had to cross my half, so I made him pay a toll of one Jelly Baby a go. By the time Mum made us take the tape up, he owed me about three hundred Jelly Babies. I'd like to say, in front of all of you, that he has never paid up.
We competed at everything, but mostly at Mario Kart. Danny beat me every time for about seven years. When I finally won, at seventeen, he said it didn't count because the sun was on the telly, and he made me play best of five. He won the next three. Amira, I want you to know that's the kind of man you've married.
He's also the kind of man who, the week he passed his driving test, started taking me to every one of my Sunday league matches. He'd stand on the touchline at Hillsborough Park in the rain, and afterwards he'd tell me I'd been the best player on the pitch, even on the days I got subbed off at half time.
When Mum was doing night shifts at the Northern General, Danny made our tea. He was thirteen. It started with fish fingers and beans, and a few years later it ended with a curry so hot that Dad had to go and have a lie down. Danny's a head chef in Kelham Island now, and I think it all started in that kitchen. Mum and Dad, I know how proud you both are of him today. I'm proud of him too.
Amira, the first time Danny brought you home for Sunday dinner, Mum got the good plates out. We hadn't seen the good plates since Nana's eightieth. You were so lovely to her that by pudding she was showing you our baby photos, and that was when Danny knew it was serious. You're kind and you're clever, and you're the only person who has ever got him to sit through a whole film without checking the Wednesday score. He's calmer since he met you, and he laughs a lot more.
Farid and Leila, thank you for welcoming Danny into your family, and for welcoming the rest of us so warmly today. We're really glad to be part of one big family now.
Danny, you've looked out for me my whole life, even while you were beating me at Mario Kart. I couldn't have asked for a better big brother, and I'm really proud to be standing here as your best man.
So would you all please stand and raise your glasses. To Amira and Danny.
What makes it work: the masking tape and Mario Kart stories are rivalry the whole room can laugh at, and Joe comes off no better than Danny. Each funny story is followed by a kind one, so the teasing never feels harsh. Their parents are part of the stories and get their own sentence without being put on the spot. Amira's family are welcomed by name.
For more speeches in different voices, see the best man speech examples. If you'd like to build yours section by section, try the template, and for help finding stories, see ideas, opening lines and jokes.
Common questions
Should I mention our parents in the speech?
Yes, briefly. A sentence to your mum and dad about how proud they must be goes down well. The father of the bride and the groom will usually have done the formal thank-yous, so you don't need to repeat them.
What if a parent has died?
Talk to your brother first. He may want a short mention, or he may prefer to leave it to his own speech. If you do mention them, keep it to two or three warm sentences early on, then move on to happier stories.
Can my sister be best man for our brother?
Yes. Plenty of grooms ask their sister, who is often called the best woman. Everything on this page applies to her too, and the childhood stories are often even better.
Can two brothers share the best man speech?
Yes. Split the childhood stories between you, keep the total to about the length of one speech and agree which of you gives the toast. It can work well if you take it in turns to tell one story each.