How long should a best man speech be?

The short answer is five to seven minutes. It gives you time to introduce yourself, tell two or three good stories about the groom, say something kind about the couple and raise the toast. It's also about as long as a room will happily listen at the end of the speeches.

If you'd like to speak for less, that's fine. A three-minute speech that is warm and specific will go down well. The short example on the best man speech examples page runs to about two minutes.

Timings, word counts and pages

Most people speak at about 130 words a minute when they give a speech, which is slower than normal conversation. The page counts below are for typed A4 in a 12 point font. If you print your speech in a bigger font to read from, which is a good idea, it will run to more pages.

A best man speech usually gets more laughs than the other speeches, and each one takes a few seconds. If your speech has a lot of jokes, allow an extra half a minute or so on top of the reading time.

Why five to seven minutes is the norm

The best man usually speaks last. At a traditional UK wedding the father of the bride goes first, then the groom, then you. If the couple have added a speech from the bride or the maid of honour, there may be four speeches before yours. By the time you stand up, guests may have been listening for twenty minutes or more. If the speeches are after the wedding breakfast, they've also eaten three courses and had a few glasses of wine.

There are practical reasons too. Venues often plan the evening around the speeches. The room may need turning round for the evening do while the band waits to set up. If the speeches are before the meal, the kitchen will be holding the starters until you sit down. A speech that runs to fifteen minutes can put the whole day behind.

Five to seven minutes gives you time for two or three proper stories while most of the room is still listening. It also fits the usual shape of a best man speech, which you can read about in best man speech structure and how to write it.

The couple may have their own view. Some ask each speaker for no more than five minutes. Ask them, or the toastmaster if there is one, and stick to whatever they say. For how all the speeches fit together, see how long wedding speeches should be.

How the time usually splits

In a five-minute speech, the sections tend to take roughly this long:

• Thanks on behalf of the bridesmaids and introducing yourself: about 30 seconds
• An opening line or two: about 20 seconds
• Stories about the groom: two and a half to three minutes
• Kind words about his partner and the couple: about a minute
• A word to the groom and the toast: about 20 seconds

If the stories take up much more than half the speech, it's probably too long. If the part about the couple is only one line, it's probably too short.

How to time your speech

Write it out in full, then check the word count in your word processor. Divide by 130 for a rough time. Then read it aloud at the pace you'll use on the day, with pauses where you expect a laugh, and time it on your phone. Most people find they speak faster when they're nervous, so if it comes out at exactly seven minutes in your kitchen, it will probably be a bit less on the day. Aim to be a minute under the limit you've been given.

How to cut a speech that runs long

Nearly every first draft of a best man speech is too long. That's normal, as you'll have more stories than you need. Here's how to bring it down.

1. Drop a story. If you have four stories, keep the two best. Choose the ones the most guests will understand, and the ones that show different sides of the groom.
2. Start each story later. Most stories have a long set-up. Begin as close to the funny part as you can. "In 2019 we went to Whitby" does the same job as a paragraph about how the trip was planned.
3. Cut the in-jokes. Anything that needs explaining to half the room can go.
4. Keep one joke per point. If you've made the same point about his timekeeping three ways, keep the funniest one.
5. Trim the thank-yous. The groom and the father of the bride will already have thanked most people. You only need the bridesmaids, if he's toasted them, and perhaps the couple.
6. Limit the cards. Reading out lots of messages from absent guests adds minutes quickly. One or two is plenty, or ask the couple if they'd rather you left them out.

Be careful not to cut the kind part about the couple. It's often the section best men trim first, because it feels harder to write, and it's the part the families will remember.

If your speech is too short

A short speech is rarely a problem. If yours is under two minutes and you'd like a bit more, add one more story, or say a little more about what the groom and his partner are like together. The ideas, opening lines and jokes page has prompts for finding stories, and the template shows where each part fits.