The father of the bride speech is one of the oldest wedding traditions in the UK. The mother of the bride speech is much newer, and it has caught on quickly. There are lots of reasons a mum might speak. Her daughter might simply want to hear from both parents, or her dad may have died or not be part of her life. Some mums brought their daughter up on their own and are hosting the day themselves.
Whichever applies to you, the speech is yours to shape. This page covers the three most common situations and what changes in each.
Speaking alongside, instead of or as the host
Alongside the father of the bride
If both of you are speaking, sit down together and agree who says what. Usually he does the welcome and the thank-yous and you speak more personally about your daughter, or the other way round. Split the stories between you so nobody tells the one about the school nativity twice. Some couples prefer a single joint speech, with each parent taking a turn, which can work very well if you are both comfortable.
Instead of the father of the bride
If you are giving the only parents' speech, you take on the whole job that the father of the bride guide describes. You welcome the guests and the other family, thank anyone who helped, speak about your daughter and her partner and give the first toast. If her dad has died, a short, gentle mention of him is usually enough, and you can check with your daughter how she would like him remembered.
Hosting on your own
If you are paying for the day or brought her up on your own, you are the host. Speak first, welcome everyone warmly and thank the people who helped you get here. You don't have to explain anything about the family to the room. Just speak as her mum.
Where it comes in the running order
If you are giving the welcome, you speak first at the wedding breakfast. If her dad is doing that, you will usually follow him, before the groom or the couple speak. The toastmaster, if there is one, will introduce you. The wedding speech order page shows the traditional line-up and how couples often change it.
What to include
- Who you are, for guests who haven't met you
- A welcome to the guests, if nobody has done it yet
- A welcome to her partner's family by name
- Thanks to anyone who has paid for or helped with the day
- A mention of anyone who has died or can't be there, if your daughter would like that
- Two or three stories about your daughter growing up and what she is like now
- Something warm and specific about her partner
- A toast to the couple
Writing it
Mums often have a store of small memories that nobody else in the room knows about, like what she was like at bedtime or the phone calls from university. Those details are what guests remember. Write down everything you can think of, then pick the few that show who she is today.
Aim for three to five minutes. Read it aloud at home and time it. You can read from paper or cue cards on the day, and nobody minds at all. If you are worried about getting emotional, put the most personal part near the end, and have some water nearby.
A mother of the bride speech example
Bev lives in Hull and brought her daughter Jodie up on her own. Jodie is a hairdresser with her own salon, and she is marrying Sam, a joiner. Sam's parents are Kev and Lorraine. Bev is hosting and giving the first speech, and she wanted to remember her late dad, Jodie's grandad.
Good afternoon, everyone. For anyone who doesn't know me, I'm Bev, Jodie's mum. It's been me and Jodie for most of her life, so today I get to do the welcome as well, and I've been practising it in the car for a month.
Thank you all for coming. Kev and Lorraine, it's lovely to have you and all of Sam's family here, and thank you for everything you've done to help. Lorraine and I have spent more evenings looking at tablecloths than I thought was possible. Thank you as well to Anna and the team here at the hotel, who have looked after us beautifully. I'd also like to welcome my mum, Maureen, who is ninety in November and told me this morning she'll be staying for the disco.
Jodie has always known what she wanted. When she was five she cut her own fringe with the kitchen scissors the night before her school photo. It went up at an angle like a ski slope. I've still got that photo on the landing, and I'll be showing it to Sam's family later whether she likes it or not.
That was the start of her career, really. At fourteen she got a Saturday job sweeping up at a salon on Newland Avenue. She used to come home and tell me about every customer, what they'd had done and what she would have done instead. Ten years later she opened her own place three doors down from that same salon. I'm very proud of her, and so is half of Hull, because she's done most of their hair.
She's also been my best mate. When money was tight we'd get the bus to Hornsea on a Sunday with a flask and some sandwiches and walk along the front, whatever the weather, then share a bag of chips on the way back to the bus stop. She was always the one telling me it would be all right. She usually was.
Now, Sam. Sam first came round to our house to fix a kitchen cupboard door that had been hanging off for about two years. Jodie said he was a joiner she knew from the gym. He fixed the door and then he stayed for his tea. I think I knew before she did. He's been fixing things for us ever since, and he has never once made me feel I was asking too much. Lorraine tells me he was the same as a boy, always mending other people's bikes.
Sam, you're patient and steady, and you make my daughter laugh until she snorts, which she will deny. You even go to Craven Park with her and pretend to understand the rules. Thank you for loving her the way you do. You're part of our family now, and I'm very glad about that.
Jodie, I couldn't be prouder of the woman you've become. Your grandad would have loved today. He'd have been the first one up to dance, and he'd have told everybody in the room about your salon.
So would you all please stand and raise your glasses. To Jodie and Sam.
Why it works: Bev mentions that she brought Jodie up on her own in one plain sentence and then moves on. The stories are specific to Hull and to Jodie's job, and Sam gets a story of his own. Her dad is remembered briefly near the end, where it doesn't bring the mood down.
Finishing with the toast
If you are the first to speak, you give the first toast to the couple. If her dad has already toasted them, you can toast them again or raise a glass to something else, such as absent friends or both families. There is more wording to choose from in wedding toasts.
If your daughter is speaking herself, have a look at the bride speech guide so you know what she is likely to cover. The groom's mum may also be speaking, and the mother of the groom speech page covers her part.
Related guides
Common questions
Is it normal for the mother of the bride to give a speech?
Yes, and it is becoming more common every year. A mum may speak alongside the bride's dad or instead of him, and some mums are hosting the day on their own. Nobody will think it unusual.
When does the mother of the bride speak?
If she is giving the main welcome, she speaks first, in the slot the father of the bride would usually have. If both parents are speaking, she often goes straight after him, or they give one speech between them. Agree the order with the couple and the toastmaster beforehand.
How long should a mother of the bride speech be?
Three to five minutes is a good length, which is roughly 390 to 650 words. If you are the only parent speaking and you are doing the welcome, you can go up to five or six. If her dad is also speaking, keep yours nearer three so the two of you don't repeat each other.
What if my daughter is marrying a woman?
Nothing changes about the shape of the speech. You welcome her wife and her wife's family, say what you love about them together and toast them both by name. If both mums are speaking, agree who does the welcome so it only happens once.
Can I use AI to write my speech?
Yes. Speechmade writes a first draft with AI from your own answers about your daughter and her partner. You read the opening free, and you can change any of it so it sounds like you.