Most fathers of the bride have never given a speech in their lives before this one. That's fine. The room is on your side before you even stand up, because everyone there knows your daughter or her partner and wants the day to go well. Mostly they want to hear you talk about her with some pride and welcome the new family.
This page takes you through the whole thing. The other guides in this section go into more detail, and there are four full father of the bride speeches you can read to hear how different dads have approached it.
Where the speech comes in the day
At a traditional UK wedding the speeches take place at the wedding breakfast, which is the main meal after the ceremony. They used to come after the meal, with a glass of fizz poured ready for the toasts. These days plenty of couples put them before the food, or between the courses, so the speakers aren't sitting through three courses feeling sick with nerves.
The usual order is:
- The father of the bride, who welcomes everyone and toasts the couple
- The groom, or the couple together, who thank people and toast the bridesmaids or the wedding party
- The best man, who tells stories about the groom and toasts the couple again
Many weddings now add a speech from the bride, the maid of honour or the mother of the bride, and a wedding with two brides or two grooms will often have its own order. Ask the couple how they want it to run. If there is a toastmaster, they will introduce you, usually with something like "Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding for the father of the bride", or they will simply ask for quiet and hand you the microphone.
What the father of the bride speech needs to do
Because you speak first, part of your job is to act as host. Weddings were traditionally paid for by the bride's parents, and although that is much less common now, the father of the bride still gives the welcome. After that, you get to talk about your daughter, which is what most people remember.
Most speeches cover the following:
- A welcome to the guests, with a mention of anyone who has come a long way
- A welcome to the other family, by name
- Thanks to anyone who has paid for or helped with the day, if that applies
- A mention of anyone important who can't be there
- Some memories of your daughter growing up and what she is like now
- Something about her partner and welcoming them into the family
- A toast to the couple
What to include in a father of the bride speech goes through each of these with example wording, including how to word the toast.
A simple structure
If you follow the order above, most of the planning is done. Here is how the time usually breaks down in a five-minute speech.
- The welcome (about 30 seconds). Introduce yourself if some guests won't know you, then welcome everyone. "For those who don't know me, I'm Mark, Ellie's dad."
- Thank-yous (about 30 seconds). The other family, anyone who paid or helped, and anyone missing.
- Your daughter (two to three minutes). Two or three short stories from her childhood and what she is like as an adult. This is the main part of the speech.
- Her partner and the couple (about a minute). When you first met them, what you like about them and what they are like together.
- The toast (about 20 seconds). Ask everyone to stand and raise their glasses to the couple.
If you would like to write it section by section, the father of the bride speech template gives you each part with gaps to fill in.
How long to speak for
Aim for five to seven minutes. That is about 650 to 900 words at a normal speaking pace. It gives you time for the welcome, the thank-yous and a couple of good stories without the room starting to fidget. Three minutes is perfectly acceptable if you would rather keep it short, and anything over ten minutes is too long, however good it is. How long should a father of the bride speech be? has a table of timings and word counts.
If you want to keep it brief, have a look at the short and simple speeches, which run to two and three minutes.
Writing it
Start with notes before you try to write any sentences. Jot down anything you remember about your daughter: the things she said as a toddler, the phase where she wanted to be a vet, her first car, what she was like at fourteen, the phone call when she told you she was engaged. Ask her mum, her brothers and sisters and her oldest friends what they would include. You will end up with far more than you need, and that is the point. Then pick the two or three stories that show what she is like.
Write the way you speak. If you would never say "it gives me immense pleasure" in the pub, don't say it in the speech. Short sentences are easier to say when you're nervous, and they are easier for a room full of people to follow.
Use real details. Saying she was a determined child is fine. Telling everyone she once refused to get out of the car at Legoland until you agreed to call the dog Biscuit says the same thing and gives people a picture. Names, places and objects bring a speech to life.
A few things are best left out:
- Her exes, or any story that involves one
- Anything about the cost of the wedding
- Jokes at the expense of her partner's family
- Stories about her drinking, even if they are funny
- In-jokes that only three people in the room will understand
If you would like to get some laughs, funny father of the bride speeches covers how to do it kindly, with a full example.
Welcoming her partner
This part matters more than dads sometimes realise. Her partner and their family will be listening carefully. Say something specific and warm about them: when you first met, what you noticed, how they are with your daughter. You don't need to pretend you were friends from the first minute. A light story about the first time they came round for Sunday dinner is often perfect. Then say plainly that you're glad to have them in the family.
If your daughter is marrying a woman, the speech works in exactly the same way. Only the toast wording changes, to "the happy couple" or to both their names.
Giving the speech on the day
Read it aloud at home several times in the weeks before. Time yourself once. Each read-through shows you where the sentences trip you up, and you can change them there and then. Read it to your wife, your partner or a friend at least once.
On the day, have the speech printed in a large font or on cue cards. Nobody minds a father of the bride reading from paper, and it means you won't lose your place. Go easy on the drink until you have spoken. When you stand up, wait for the room to go quiet, look up at your daughter and take a breath before you start.
Speak more slowly than feels natural, and pause after anything funny so people have time to laugh. If your voice wobbles when you get to the part about her, stop for a second and have a sip of water. Guests love seeing that it means something to you.
If you are dreading it
Lots of dads are. There is a separate guide for a shy or nervous father of the bride with advice on keeping it short, reading from paper and what to do if you lose your place.
The toast
Finish by asking everyone to stand and raise a glass. Keep it simple and say it clearly so the room knows when to drink. For example: "So would you all please stand and raise your glasses. To Ellie and Tom." Or: "Please be upstanding and join me in a toast to the happy couple." Then drink, sit down and let the groom take over.
If you aren't her dad, or you're sharing the day
The speech is often given by a step-dad, a mum, a grandad or an uncle, and sometimes a dad and step-dad both have a part to play. There is a separate guide for the step-father of the bride, which covers how to share the day graciously and what to say if her dad has died.
More father of the bride guides
Common questions
Does the father of the bride always speak first?
At most UK weddings, yes. The usual order is the father of the bride, then the groom or the couple, then the best man. Plenty of couples change it, so ask them or the toastmaster what they have planned.
Who should the father of the bride thank?
Thank the guests for coming, especially anyone who has travelled a long way. Welcome your daughter's new in-laws, thank anyone who has paid for or helped with the day, and mention anyone important who can't be there. Leave the bridesmaids and the best man to the groom or the couple, as they usually thank them.
Can someone else give the father of the bride speech?
Yes. If her dad has died, isn't in her life or would rather not speak, the speech is often given by her mum, a step-dad, a grandparent, an uncle or a brother. Some brides give the first speech themselves. The content stays much the same.
Should the speech be before or after the wedding breakfast?
Either works. Traditionally speeches come after the meal, with the toast made using the fizz poured for it. More couples now have them before the meal so the speakers can relax and eat. The couple and the venue will decide, and it doesn't change what you say.
Can I use AI to help write my speech?
Yes. Speechmade writes a first draft with AI from your own answers about your daughter and her partner. You read the opening before you decide, and you can change anything so it sounds like you.