What to include in a father of the bride speech

The father of the bride speech has a few traditional jobs, mostly because you speak first and act as the host. Once those are done, the rest of the speech is about your daughter and her partner. Use the checklist below to make sure you haven't missed anything, then turn to the template if you'd like to write it section by section.

The checklist

1. Introduce yourself
2. Welcome the guests
3. Welcome her partner's family
4. Thank anyone who paid for or helped with the day
5. Mention people who can't be there
6. Talk about your daughter growing up
7. Say what she's like now
8. Welcome her partner into the family
9. Say a few words to your daughter
10. Propose the toast

1. Introduce yourself

Some of the guests won't know who you are, particularly on her partner's side. Keep it to a single line.

"Good afternoon, everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm Andy, Charlotte's dad."

2. Welcome the guests

Thank everyone for coming. If some guests have travelled a long way, or there's a grandparent who has made a big effort to be there, give them a mention. If the bride's parents are hosting, you can welcome people on behalf of both of you.

"On behalf of Sarah and myself, thank you all for being here. A special welcome to Charlotte's godmother Anne, who has flown in from Toronto, and to Grandad Bill, who at ninety-one was the first one on the dance floor last time and has promised to do it again."

3. Welcome her partner's family

This matters a lot to the other side. Name the parents, and any step-parents, and say something friendly and specific. If you've met a few times, mention one of those occasions.

"Mike and Janice, it's been a pleasure getting to know you both this last year, and we've very much enjoyed the Sunday lunches in Harrogate. Welcome, and welcome to all of Ben's family."

4. Thank anyone who paid or helped

Traditionally the bride's parents paid for the wedding and the father of the bride thanked guests as host. Now it is often shared, or the couple pay for it themselves. Thank whoever contributed, without saying who paid for what. Thank anyone who gave a lot of time too, such as a relative who made the cake or did the flowers. Leave the bridesmaids, the best man and the ushers for the groom or the couple.

"I'd like to thank Mike and Janice for everything they've done to help make today happen, and my sister Carol, who has been icing that cake since Tuesday."

5. Mention people who can't be there

If a grandparent, parent or someone else close to the family has died or can't be there, a short mention is often welcome. Keep it to two or three sentences, put it near the start and then move on. Ask your daughter first. Some couples prefer to do this themselves or not at all.

"We're thinking today of Sarah's dad, Charlotte's Grandpa Ken, who we lost two years ago. He'd have loved today, and he'd have had a lot to say about the size of the portions."

6. Your daughter growing up

This is the heart of the speech, and the part guests look forward to. Choose one or two short stories that show what she was like as a child. The best ones are small and specific, like a holiday, a pet, a phase she went through or something she used to say. Avoid anything that would embarrass her in front of her new in-laws.

If you want some lighter moments, funny father of the bride speeches covers how to tease gently.

7. What she's like now

Say a little about the adult she has become. Mention her work, something you admire about her and one everyday detail, such as a phone call every Sunday or the way she still pinches the crispy potatoes. This is where you can show how proud you are without saying it outright yet.

8. Welcome her partner

Talk about when you first met, what you noticed and what you like about them. Say something about them as a couple, then welcome them into the family in so many words. Her partner's family will be listening closely to this part.

"The first time Ben came round, he offered to wash up and then did the pans properly, which is more than I've ever managed. Ben, you've made Charlotte very happy, and we're delighted to have you in the family."

9. A few words to your daughter

Before the toast, speak directly to her. One or two plain sentences are enough. It's often the line people remember.

"Charlotte, your mum and I are so proud of you. We love you very much."

10. The toast

Ask everyone to stand first, then give the toast clearly so the room knows when to drink. If there's a toastmaster, they may ask everyone to be upstanding for you. Here are some ways to word it.

• "So would you all please stand and raise your glasses. To Charlotte and Ben."
• "Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding and join me in a toast to the bride and groom."
• "Please stand and raise a glass to the happy couple."
• "Would you all please be upstanding. To Mr and Mrs Walker."
• "If you'd all please stand and charge your glasses. To Priya and Hannah, the happy couple."

Say the toast, pause while people repeat it, drink, then sit down. If you're handing over to the next speaker, the toastmaster will usually do that, or you can say "and now I'll hand over to the groom" before you sit.

What you can leave out

• Thanks to suppliers and the venue, which the couple usually cover
• Thanks to the bridesmaids and best man, which the groom or couple usually cover
• Readings or long poems, although a single short quote can work well. See quotes for your speech.
• Advice on marriage, unless you can keep it to one light line
• Anything about her exes, the cost of the day or family disagreements

If you're keeping the speech short, you can drop items 5 and 7 and still have a complete speech. There's more on trimming in how long should a father of the bride speech be?

Speechmade covers all of these parts when it writes your speech. It uses AI to draft the speech from your answers, and you can edit anything before the day.