Getting a laugh early on helps a great deal with nerves. Once the room has laughed with you, the rest of the speech feels much easier. The trick for a father of the bride is to be funny in a way that leaves everybody feeling good, including your daughter, her partner and both families. The best man can be a bit cheekier. Your job is to make people smile and then say something that means a lot.
Make yourself the joke
The safest humour in a father of the bride speech is about you. That might be your DIY, your barbecue, the way you cry at adverts or the family holiday where you got everyone lost. Guests love a dad who can laugh at himself, and nobody else in the room gets hurt.
It also sets up the rest of the speech nicely. If the first few minutes are about how hopeless you are, the part where you say how proud you are of her lands even better.
Tease your daughter gently, or not at all
You can tell a funny story about her, as long as it's one she already laughs at herself. Childhood stories are usually safe: the phase where she wore a Spider-Man costume everywhere, the time she tried to sell the neighbours their own flowers. Anything that might embarrass her as an adult is best left out. If you aren't sure, ask her or ask her mum.
A good test is whether the story makes her look like someone the room would like. A story about how stubborn she was at six usually does. A story about how she failed her driving test four times probably doesn't, unless she tells it herself at every party.
What to avoid
These are the jokes that go wrong at weddings, and most of them go wrong in the same way.
- Her exes. Never mention them, even as a joke. Her partner's family won't find it funny, and neither will she.
- Drinking stories. Stories about her being drunk at university might be hilarious to her friends, but her new in-laws and her gran will be sitting right there.
- In-jokes. If a line only works for the five people who were on that holiday, the rest of the room will sit in silence.
- Her partner's family. You don't know them well enough yet to joke about them in public, and they are listening closely to what you say about their side.
- The cost of the wedding. Jokes about the bill or your empty wallet can make whoever paid feel awkward, and they are very tired.
- Old gags about marriage. Lines like "I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining a bathroom" or jokes about the ball and chain make people wince now.
Where to put the funny bits
Put most of the humour in the first half of the speech. An opening line that gets a laugh relaxes you and the room. A funny story or two about her growing up comes next. Then, as you move on to her partner and the couple, let the tone soften. The toast at the end should be sincere.
If you want one light moment near the end, keep it short and follow it straight away with something warm. That way the speech finishes on the right note.
Example lines in context
These are the kinds of lines that work, because they are specific and they are about the speaker or about a harmless moment. Use them to get an idea of the tone, then write your own from your own family.
Opening lines
- "I've been practising this speech in the car for a month, so if I suddenly check my mirrors and indicate, please ignore it."
- "I did ask Emma if there was anything she'd rather I didn't mention today. She sent me a list. It was a spreadsheet, and it had tabs."
- "My wife has timed this speech at four minutes. That was without the pauses for applause, so we could be here a while."
About your daughter
- "Emma has always known her own mind. At three she refused to wear anything except a Spider-Man costume, including to her Auntie Pam's wedding. So I'd like to thank her for making an exception today."
- "She's a solicitor now, which means she gets paid to argue. She's been training for it at our kitchen table since she could talk."
About her partner
- "Josh asked me for Emma's hand at half-time at the Villa. We were two down, so I think he assumed I'd agree to anything."
- "The first time Priya came for dinner, she asked for seconds of my lasagne. I found out later that Emma had told her to."
Notice that each of these is followed by something kind in the real speech. The joke about the lasagne only works if the next sentence says how welcome she is.
A full funny father of the bride speech
Pete is a driving instructor from Swindon. His daughter Sophie works in the council's planning department and is marrying Marcus, a quantity surveyor from Birmingham. Nearly every joke is about Pete himself.
Good afternoon, everyone. I'm Pete, Sophie's dad. I've been a driving instructor in Swindon for twenty-two years, so I'm used to sitting very still while somebody else does something terrifying. Today it's the other way round, so please bear with me.
Thank you all for coming. A big welcome to Marcus's family, Denise and Leroy, and to everyone who has come down from Birmingham. It's been a pleasure getting to know you. Leroy, I'm still thinking about your barbecue in August. Mine are mostly black on the outside and pink in the middle, as a lot of people in this room can confirm.
I did ask Sophie if there was anything she'd rather I didn't mention today. She sent me a list. It had headings.
So I won't say too much about teaching her to drive. I'll just say that in twenty-two years, I have never had another pupil tell me to be quiet and let her concentrate. Sophie said it on her first lesson, before we'd got off the drive. She passed first time, which is more than I did.
When she was small we went to the same caravan site near Newquay every summer, and every summer I promised I could get the awning up in ten minutes. By the time she was eight, she'd started timing me. My best effort was an hour and forty minutes. It was raining, and Sophie and her mum sat in the car eating crisps and giving me advice through the window.
She's always been the one who gets things done. These days she spends all day telling people what they can and can't build, and she's been practising on me since she was about four.
Now I'd better say something about Marcus. The first time he came round, I got the photo albums out, which Sophie still hasn't forgiven me for. He sat through all fourteen of them and asked questions. The following summer he came to Newquay with us and put the awning up in twenty minutes. Sophie timed it, of course. I'm still getting over it.
But joking aside, Marcus, you're a good man. You're patient with Sophie, and she's happier than I've ever seen her. Karen and I are delighted to have you in the family.
Sophie, you've been bossing me about for thirty years and I've enjoyed nearly every minute. I'm very proud of you, love.
So would you all please stand and raise your glasses. To Sophie and Marcus.
Why it works: the caravan awning runs through the speech, which gives a laugh at the start and a second one when Marcus puts the awning up in a fraction of the time. The teasing of Marcus is about Pete losing, so it flatters Marcus. The last two paragraphs drop the jokes and say plainly what Pete feels. There's another funny speech, from a very different dad, on the father of the bride examples page.
Delivering the jokes
Say the funny line and then stop. Wait for the laugh before you carry on, even if it feels like a long time. If you rush on, the people who are laughing will miss your next sentence. Don't laugh at your own jokes before you get to the end of them, and don't tell people a joke is coming.
If a line gets nothing, keep going. Nobody at a wedding is keeping score. If you're worried about nerves getting in the way, have a look at the advice for a shy or nervous dad.
If you'd like help getting the tone right, Speechmade can write a first draft with AI from your own stories. You choose how funny you want it, and it keeps the jokes kind.
Common questions
Should a father of the bride speech be funny?
It can be, but it doesn't have to be. Most guests expect the best man to bring the jokes. A father of the bride speech with a couple of gentle laughs and a warm ending is what most people hope for.
Is it all right to use jokes from the internet?
Stock jokes tend to fall flat because half the room has heard them before and they aren't about anyone there. A small true story about your own family usually goes down much better.
What if nobody laughs?
Carry on as if you meant it to be a gentle line. Most of the time people are smiling even if they don't laugh out loud. Don't explain the joke or apologise, just move on to the next part.
Can I tease the groom?
A little, as long as it's kind and he would laugh at it too. Keep it to one light moment, then say something warm about him straight afterwards. Leave the proper teasing to the best man.
How many jokes should I include?
Three or four light moments in a five-minute speech is plenty. Put most of them in the first half, and let the part about the couple and the toast be warm.