A eulogy is a speech that remembers a person's life. It is usually given by someone who knew them well, at the funeral, cremation or memorial service, and it typically lasts between three and ten minutes. It tells the people who have come to say goodbye something about the life the person lived and what they were like.
Most eulogies include a short account of the person's life, some of the qualities people loved in them, one or two stories, and a few words of thanks and farewell. They are personal and spoken in everyday language. If you've been asked to give one, our eulogy guide walks you through the whole process.
What the word means
"Eulogy" comes from the Greek eulogia, which means praise, from the words for "well" and "speaking". In other contexts it can mean any speech in praise of someone, including someone living, but in everyday British English it almost always refers to a speech at a funeral.
It is sometimes confused with "elegy", which is a poem of mourning, such as Thomas Gray's Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard. An elegy might be read at a funeral as a reading, but it is a separate thing from the eulogy.
What a eulogy is for
A funeral brings together people who knew the person in different ways. Their family may have known them mainly at home, while colleagues or neighbours saw quite a different side of them. A eulogy draws those pieces together, so everyone leaves with a fuller picture of the person they came to remember.
It also gives people a moment to feel what they have lost. Hearing a familiar saying or a story they were part of often lets people grieve in a way that the more formal parts of a service don't.
A eulogy doesn't need to be a complete biography. The aim is for people to recognise the person, and a few well-chosen memories are usually enough for that.
Who gives the eulogy
There's no rule about who should speak. In the UK it is most often one of the following:
- A son or daughter, especially the eldest
- A husband, wife or partner, although many prefer someone else to read their words
- A grandchild, brother or sister
- A close friend or colleague
- The celebrant, vicar, priest or minister, using notes from the family
It is also common to share it. One person might tell the story of the life while a grandchild reads a short piece, or two siblings might take half each. If you have been asked and don't feel able to stand up, it's fine to write the eulogy and ask someone else to read it for you.
Where it comes in a UK funeral
Every service is different, but in most UK funerals the eulogy comes near the middle. A typical order is:
- Music as people come in, then words of welcome from the celebrant or minister
- A reading, poem or hymn
- The eulogy or tributes
- A moment of reflection, prayers or another piece of music
- The committal, when the family says a final goodbye
- Closing words and music as people leave
At a crematorium, the whole service is often limited to between 30 and 45 minutes, so the celebrant will usually ask how long each speaker needs. There is more on this in how long should a eulogy be?
Religious and non-religious services
In a Church of England service, a eulogy or tribute is common and the vicar will usually give guidance on length and placement. Catholic funeral Masses traditionally keep personal tributes short, and some parishes prefer them before the Mass begins or at the end. Humanist and civil ceremonies are built around the person's life, so the eulogy is often the longest part of the service. If you're not sure, ask whoever is leading it.
Eulogy, tribute, obituary and elegy
| Word | What it is | Where you'll find it |
|---|---|---|
| Eulogy | A spoken account of someone's life and character | At the funeral or memorial |
| Tribute | Personal words about the person, often shorter than a eulogy | At the funeral, in a card or online |
| Obituary | A written notice of someone's death and life, with funeral details | In a newspaper or on a funeral website |
| Elegy | A poem of mourning | Sometimes read as part of the service |
If you are speaking at a service but not giving the main eulogy, our guide to funeral speeches covers shorter tributes and readings.
What to do next
If you've been asked to give a eulogy, start by talking to the family and the person leading the service, then jot down memories as they come to you. It can help to read a few eulogy examples to hear how they sound, and then follow how to write a eulogy step by step.
Common questions
Is a eulogy the same as a tribute?
In the UK the two words are used almost interchangeably. Some celebrants use "eulogy" for the main account of the person's life and "tribute" for shorter, more personal words from family or friends, but there is no fixed rule.
Does every funeral have a eulogy?
No. Some families prefer the celebrant or minister to speak about the person, some have readings or music instead, and some religious services have little or no personal tribute. It is always a choice, and the funeral director can talk it through with you.
Who usually gives the eulogy?
Usually a close family member such as a son, daughter, partner or grandchild, or a close friend. It can also be given by the celebrant, using information the family has provided, or shared between several people.
What is the difference between a eulogy and an obituary?
An obituary is written to be printed, in a newspaper or online, and usually sets out the facts of someone's life along with funeral details. A eulogy is spoken at the service and is more personal.